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Do you like Coke? If so, you’re in luck! A new device has been invented that can help you get your Coke fix faster than ever before. The Coke Sniffer is a small, handheld device that allows you to smell the carbonated beverage without having to open the can or bottle. With the push of a button, the CO2 emitted by the drink will be released, allowing you to take in its sweet aroma. Whether you’re at home or on the go, the Coke Sniffer is a must-have for any true fan of the drink. So what are you waiting for? Order yours today!
Why you should buy a Coke Sniffer
Coke sniffing is a growing national epidemic. The fumes from just one can stimulates the brain to produce dopamine and serotonin, happy chemicals that make you feel great. When Sniffers do not get their fix of these life-changing fumes, they sometimes commit crimes to feed their addiction. They also cause property damage and public disturbances in search for Cokes. But thanks to Coca Cola’s genius marketing plan (they give out coupons with every purchase), Sniffers never go without their daily dose. However, the government has become aware of this serious issue. After much research and thought, they have come up with an idea: buy Sniffers a Coke Sniffer! This product allows them to extract the fume all at once, instead of one sip at a time. The fume is harmless and can be safely inhaled without any change in behavior. So the next time you see a Sniffer walking down the street, give them a smile and say “Hey Buddy! Want to buy a Coke Sniffer?” Once they strongly consider your proposition, pull out this article along with your wallet to seal the deal!
Coke sniffing has become an epidemic among young adults ages 16-24. They’re called Sniffers but what exactly are they doing? We went undercover for this photo piece to find out more about their daily routine.
We also got our hands on some exclusive information regarding Sniffers’ lives. Here’s what we found out:
– Sniffers use their allowance to buy Cokes every day! Young adults are unemployed, therefore they must live with their parents. Parents are concerned about the safety of their children but are unable to monitor them all the time.
– When Sniffers don’t have enough money saved up or can’t find enough cans, they resort to crime. They break into stores and homes searching for small cans which they can load up in grocery carts and sell at a discounted price to supermarkets. However they oftentimes have violent encounters with owners during these burglaries. Some sniffers even commit sexual assault!
– All this behavior is caused by dopamine the brain releases when the nose smells Coke fumes. Other names for Coke are “Liquid Crack” due to its high addictive levels.
– Experts say that adult Sniffers are more dangerous than teenagers since they become addicted later in life. Their addiction is stronger and can cause them to act out aggressively if denied their fix.
How to Choose the Best Coke Sniffer
Coke sniffers, as they’re called by those who use them, are people who go around trying to smell coke wherever it may be. It’s a very difficult and niche job – so if you’re new to this field of work, we’ve put together a guide on how to choose the best coke sniffer for hire:
Step 1: Find some coke and place it somewhere where you will not find it initially. A good trick is to put it in the ‘help yourself’ section of your office kitchenette before going away on an extended vacation (minimum 2 weeks). The added benefit here is that typically the first person(s) who discover your stash will also become your coke sniffers.
Step 2: Return to your office and try to work out who has been snorting your coke. To do this, walk around the office as if nothing is wrong and monitor people for any unusual behaviour – such as sudden bouts of erratic movement around desks, or frantic digging through trash receptacles – followed by acts of ‘self enjoyment’. Once you have whittled down the list of suspects (minimum 3), compare their findings with track marks on their arms or legs and determining which one is most likely a cocaine user.
Step 3: If no one fesses up, you can also test them via polygraph machine. There are some important things to note here though: firstly, only use the old fashioned graphite pencil type not the digital one because it will skew results. Secondly, polygraphs are only around 70 percent accurate – so be sure to test them twice.
Step 4: Assuming you’ve now got your coke sniffer, congratulations! It’s now time to show them the ropes and determine their worth as a coke sniffer. A good starting point is with some simple tricks such as having them follow trails of cocaine that lead from one place to another around the office. This way they can find new places for you to hide your drugs and potentially open the door for investigation into other criminal activity (see Step 5).
Step 5: Once you’ve had enough fun with Step 4, set up more difficult tasks such as giving them a list of names and seeing how long it takes them to sniff out the real target (i.e. who has been snorting your coke). These more difficult quests will not only test their ability but also prove that they are stealthy and quick enough not to get caught when it matters most.
Step 6: If you’re happy with their performance in Step 5, you can reward them at this stage and offer them a paid position on your staff – or even permanent ownership of your drugs if they really impressed you. Of course, there is always the chance they could run off with your stash so be sure to keep an eye on them especially when everyone else goes home for the night.
If you are interested in having a Coke Sniffer at your next event, contact us today. We have the perfect solution for you! A Coke Sniffer is an interactive way to bring out that nostalgia feeling and keep all of your guests happy. Contact our team today if this would be something you’re interested in adding to your next corporate event or party. Our goal is to make sure every customer leaves with smiles on their faces – so don’t hesitate to reach out! Let’s get started brainstorming how we can incorporate the fun factor into your business strategy. What ideas do you have?